Showing posts with label Soul Care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Soul Care. Show all posts
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
Congrats to those who have already won this great book: Jessica B, Erin M., Kate, and Erica!!!
This week, I'm giving away a wonderful book by Steven W. Smith, called Embracing Soul Care: Making Space For What Matters Most. I've been writing a series sharing ideas and encouragement from the book, and Mr. Smith wrote and offered FIVE copies for me to give away through Making Home!
Today is the 5th and final giveaway. Each day, I'm asking you to answer one question in the comments & leave your name & e-mail information (so that I can get in contact with you if you win)!
TODAY, the question is:
What is God teaching you right now? Or, what is one way you currently see God at work in your life?
*** Contest Details: Entries will be taken until 8pm CST, at which point I will use a random number generator to select the winner. I will announce the winner both in the comments of this post & at the top of tomorrow's post. ***
Don't forget to LEAVE A COMMENT w/ your answer, name, and e-mail address!!!
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
Congrats to those who have already won this great book: Jessica B, Erin M., and Kate!!!
This week, I'm giving away a wonderful book by Steven W. Smith, called Embracing Soul Care: Making Space For What Matters Most. I've been writing a series sharing ideas and encouragement from the book, and Mr. Smith wrote and offered FIVE copies for me to give away through Making Home!
Today is the 4th giveaway. Every day this week you will have an opportunity to win this book. Each day, I'm asking you to answer one question in the comments & leave your name & e-mail information (so that I can get in contact with you if you win)!
In Psalm 19:7, we are told that Scripture "revives the soul". Many of the Psalms were used for worship by Jews & within the early church. Throughout my life, as I've experienced various emotions, I have noticed that I can always find a "voice" to express my heart in the Psalms. Smith points out, "The psalmists honesty helps us articulate the deep stirring of our own souls."
THE QUESTION FOR TODAY IS:
THE QUESTION FOR TODAY IS:
Do you have a favorite psalm? If so, please share it... if not, please share something you have noticed in Psalms that communicates to you.... perhaps the expression of human needs, or the intimate communication with God, or the awe & wonder toward His creation.PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANSWER IN THE COMMENTS, along with your name & e-mail address/way to contact you, and you'll be entered in the giveaway for today! Thanks!
*** Contest Details: Entries will be taken until 8pm CST, at which point I will use a random number generator to select the winner. I will announce the winner both in the comments of this post & at the top of tomorrow's post. ***
Don't forget to LEAVE A COMMENT w/ your answer, name, and e-mail address!!!
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
Congrats to those who have already won this great book: Jessica B & Erin M.!!!
Today is the 3rd giveaway. Every day this week you will have an opportunity to win this book. Each day, I'm asking you to answer one question in the comments & leave your name & e-mail information (so that I can get in contact with you if you win)!
In the book, Smith writes:
"Valley times of the soul can be unpredictable. We don't know what is ahead. Valleys are experienced, not escaped. We endure the lows, feel the agony, and hope for a way out. These are times of aloneness, yet for those in Christ, the awareness of our traveling companion makes all the difference."
Of course, we've all experienced valley times. Some of my hardest days were described perfectly by Smith-- "experienced, but not escaped." TODAY, the question is:
From YOUR "valley" experiences, what help is needed by someone enduring/experiencing a prolonged valley time? Essentially, what help could/did someone have offered to you (in a valley time) that would have truly been a welcomed blessing? What can others learn from your valley times?
*** Contest Details: Entries will be taken until 8pm CST, at which point I will use a random number generator to select the winner. I will announce the winner both in the comments of this post & at the top of tomorrow's post. ***
Don't forget to LEAVE A COMMENT w/ your answer, name, and e-mail address!!!
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
(Today's giveaway is now closed. Congrats to Erin M., the winner! Check back each day this week for more chances to win!)
Congrats to yesterday's winner of this great book, Jessica B!!!
Congrats to yesterday's winner of this great book, Jessica B!!!
Just like yesterday, I'm giving away a wonderful book by Steven W. Smith, called Embracing Soul Care: Making Space For What Matters Most. I've been writing a series sharing ideas and encouragement from the book, and Mr. Smith wrote and offered FIVE copies of this amazing book for me to give away through Making Home!
Today is the 2nd giveaway. Every day this week you will have an opportunity to win this book. Each day, I'm asking you to answer one question in the comments & leave your name & e-mail information (so that I can get in contact with you if you win)!
Last night, I read a portion of the book where he talks about times of going through the transforming fire of God:
"People who have endured a furnace of transformation attest that there's nothing else like it. The fires can become so hot and furious that the one tested wonders whether survival is possible. ...Once you feel the singe of the fire you begin to give up expectations. You bend low into the process and trust the hands of the One who brought you there. ...The Potter's furnace is where true transformation occurs. Without the heat, and without change, the pot will not last."
TODAY, the question is:
Have you been in a situation like he describes, "a furnace of transformation"? (yes, no, maybe) Please share as much or as little as you like. Consider these questions: are you in a hot spot right now, or have you recently come out of the "Potter's furnace"? Do you bend low into the process & trust the Potter in difficult times, or do you tend to buck and try to make for a more comfortable place? Can you look back in your life and see times when the "heat" in your life actually transformed you and did things that ease & comfort would not have produced in you?Leave a comment, even if it's a brief one, to be entered into the giveaway. I look forward to reading your comments!
*** Contest Details: Entries will be taken until 8pm CST, at which point I will use a random number generator to select the winner. I will announce the winner both in the comments of this post & at the top of tomorrow's post. ***
Don't forget to LEAVE A COMMENT w/ your answer, name, and e-mail address!!!
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
Perhaps you've been keeping up with my recent "soul care" series... all based on a wonderful book I'm reading by Steven W. Smith called Embracing Soul Care: Making Space For What Matters Most. I hope it's been an encouragement for you.
Mr. Smith wrote me and offered up FIVE copies of this amazing book for me to give away through Making Home... I'm so jazzed! Thank you so much to Stephen Smith for this great giveaway!
So many of you have written me, commented, and/or facebooked me, saying what an encouragement these ideas have been to you, and so I can't wait to let FIVE of you get your hands on his amazing book!
Every day this week you will have an opportunity to win this book. Each day, I'll ask you to answer one question in the comments & leave your name & e-mail information (so that I can get in contact with you if you win)!
TODAY, the question is:
Which phrase would you say BEST DESCRIBES the current state of your physical body/physical health?
- Used up & spent
- Weary but still moving
- Mediocre.
- Doing pretty good, feeling pretty good
- Fantastic!
*** Contest Details: THIS CONTEST HAS ALREADY ENDED. ***
Don't forget to LEAVE A COMMENT w/ your answer, name, and e-mail address!!!
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
"Does your spiritual life sometimes seem more like a burden than a blessing? Does your spirituality seem to exhaust you as often as it refreshes you? Have your spiritual practices become "just another thing to do" in an already overcrowded, stress-filled schedules? If so, then you need to simplify your spiritual life." ~Donald S. Whitney
Have you ever blown an engine? We did, once. It was embarrassing... it was a very, very old vehicle and we had gone a few additional weeks than we should've without checking (and then recognizing the need to replenish) the oil supply. The effects are disastrous-- once you blow an engine, it is pretty much worthless, all because the oil wasn't properly maintained and things weren't able to move and flow like they should've.After telling the story of a time he blew an engine, Stephen W. Smith, author of Embracing Soul Care, puts it this way:
"The blown engine became an important symbol in our lives. In the midst of busyness and ministry, I had not maintained my van. It was now too late to simply get a read on the engine by checking the dipstick. It was an expensive mistake. The van needed a replacement engine. That weekend, as the van's engine was replaced, I looked at my own internal engine. The state of my soul was crying out for some serious maintenance. The soul functions much like a car's engine. If we want to function properly for life's long haul, we need to check our soul's dipstick."
In what ways could you rescue your souls from burnout by performing regular "dipstick checks" and keeping up more intentional "maintenance" of your soul? Do you need to do like Donald Whitney wrote, and "simplify your spiritual life"?
"Let us test and examine our ways
and return to the Lord!"
~Lamentations 3:40~
Image: hinnamsaisuy / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
"I often wish that someone could create a Soul Velcro. We need spiritual truths to stick to us so that we can live abundantly. Without Velcro in the soul, ... we can forget that we matter to God. We can ignore what is really true about us and begin to listen to lies whispered into our hearts."
~Stephen W. Smith, Embracing Soul Care
Sadly, it is often the hurtful comments that "stick" to us rather than the encouraging ones. Oh, sure, we can get hung up with pride, too, if we sit and dwell on comments that feed our ego in one area or another. But all too often, particularly for those of us who at some point had a "reputation", we identify more with the sinful/bad things about ourselves rather than identifying with the wonderful/righteous things God has made us to be.
Believing woman, think on these things written about you:
- CHOSEN, HOLY, GOD'S POSSESSION, IN THE LIGHT, RECIPIENT OF MERCY: "You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." ~1 Peter 2:9
- YOU BELONG TO GOD: "You are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which belong to God." ~1 Corinthians 6:20
- YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU WERE; YOU ARE BEING MADE NEW: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new." ~2 Corinthians 5:17
- CHILD OF GOD: "to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name." ~John 1:12
- RESCUED, REDEEMED, FORGIVEN: "For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the Kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. ~Colossians 1:13
... and of course, there is so much more in the Word, but these are some essentials.
Which of these need to "stick" to your soul, like velcro? Could you write it on a notecard and tape it somewhere in your house-- on your mirror, or in front of your kitchen sink? What can you do today to REMEMBER your identity in Christ?
Image: Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
Stephen Smith, author of Embracing Soul Care, writes:
"We do not see ourselves as God views us. It takes a lifetime to even begin to realize who we really are in God's eyes. Judges 6 tells of Gideon's struggle with his identity. The angel of the Lord said to Gideon, 'The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.' (v. 12) Gideon knew he was not a mighty warrior. He had not done anything outstanding. Yet this pronouncement identifies the Gideon God made him to be. At first he resisted this noble status, arguing with the angel: 'How can I save Israel?... My clan is the weakest... I am the least..." (v. 15) Gideon does not accept his true identity. The announcement of Gideon's identity didn't sink in, but as his life unfolded, he lived out his 'mighty warrior' name." (pp. 47-48)Perhaps this seems basic to you, but have you ever really thought about who you are? How did God build you? What is your makeup? Are you a natural encourager? Are you able to see the big picture and easily make plans and set achievable goals? Do people feel at ease and open up their hearts to you? Who did God make you to be?
YOU
Really. I want you to stop and answer this question:
- "Who did God make me to be?"
Have you thanked God for making you as He did? It's no surprise to Him that you're the way you are. Do you believe He can use you in His plans for the world?
ME
As a way of opening up, I'll share my answers with you, from when I read this portion of the book...
"prophetess of God-- NOT big P, Prophetess. Little p prophetess-- truth-speaker.
Writer
Mother/wife
Bold, truthful"
And to be honest, I sometimes forget that God made me this way & lapse into feeling bad about these character qualities.
I remember certain things other people have spoken over me-- controlling, judgmental -- and could easily think that I'm mistaken in exercising these character qualities. But the fact of the matter is, God built me this way. He made me passionate about truth... so much that in college, I wrote an article in our college about how fake it is to answer that you're "fine" if you're really torn up inside... I implored my peers to be honest with each other! And was promptly rebuked (in the college newspaper the following week) by a friendly professor who reminded me that these friendly greetings are the glue of society. :)
My point is though, that in big and small ways, I can look through the experiences of my life and see certain things God built into me that keep on popping up as traits of "me". I didn't put them there. My parents didn't plant them in me... although our parents certainly sometimes encourage or discourage certain attributes in us. But God builds us with certain attributes, and when you take the overview of your life, you may find certain things God has put into you.
So, how did God build you? And can today be a day that you bless the Lord for how He made you?
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
"Soul care begins with time. We can begin with small time commitments. By tinkering here, cleaning and polishing there, we refurbish the soul. Some may need to 'get away from it all' for a major overhaul, but for most of us, day-by-day maintenance will add up to soul care. Now is the time to begin." ~Stephen W. Smith, Embracing Soul Care
Consider: What resources do you have available to you, and are you making good use of them? Is there a ladies' Bible study you could join that would give you the opportunity to connect with other women, and go deeper in Scripture? Do you have a friend you could trade off with (caring for your children), once every month or so, to give each of you a day of rest and reflection every so often? Do you have a book on your shelf that you need to read more diligently to fuel your mind & heart? Are you surrounding yourself with Scripture in your home to encourage and challenge you as you go about your days? Is there something practical you could change in your daily life that would reduce your stress & give you more time/mental space for "soul care"?
Smith writes this about soul care: "it figures out what truly matters in life and then realigns the self to those higher priorities.... it slows down the frenetic lifestyle to make time for the soul."
GOD LOOKS AT THE HEART; SO SHOULD WE
We sell ourselves short when, whether as a businessman or as a homeschool mom, our lives become about achieving, doing, and performing. God looks at our soul-- not at our outward appearance, not at our checked off (or unchecked) to do list.
Smith encourages us to be more curious-- "Curiosity invites us to wonder, 'What is God up to in my life? What is He doing in the world?' A curious soul seeks to know God and appreciate His ways."
Look around you, and look in your heart. Where is God at work? What things do you sense that the Potter is trying to shape in your life? Do you see something He is doing that you can take part in?
As you look in your heart and in your world, what do you see God doing? How can you join in? What things might you need to stop doing in order to "realign" yourself to those higher priorities? How can you begin, today, to care for your soul?
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
|
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
"O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You,
my body longs for You,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water."
~ Psalm 63:1 ~
Many times in our years overseas, I walked through "valley" times. During those 6 years, I had 3 babies, miscarried one, lived in 10 residences (that's if you only count the ones we lived in for 2 months or longer), learned how to cook, began learning how to clean house, began homeschooling, started learning Mandarin, and became nearly fluent in Turkish, and probably did many other stress-inducing things too that just aren't coming to mind @ present. There were often times when I was juggling multiple items I've just listed while walking through what has been termed "deserts of the soul". (Not to be confused with desserts of the soul which sounds tasty & desirable.)
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction,
so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ~
Believing 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 to be true, I want to share some of the things that comforted me when I was "parched and dry".
- Remember that God is near.
- Remember that God sees the big picture.
- Remind yourself of the big picture.
- Do what is needful/Make your life as sane as possible.
(1) God is near-- Acts 17:27-28 says: "they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for 'In Him we live and move and have our being." The truth is that whether you have had your "quiet time", whether you have just yelled at your child, whether you are in the shower, no matter what, "He is not far from each one of us." He is near. He knows our hearts (Prov 15:11), and He knows our thoughts. For me, there was great comfort once I mentally acknowledged His constant presence in my life. It did not CHANGE that He was present (He always was), but it CHANGED my awareness of Him being near. God is near to you; acknowledge Him & invite Him into your busy, tired days.
(2) God sees the big picture-- Consider the Israelites. When Abraham was given a promise by God about his descendants, He told Abraham:
"Know for certain that your offspring will be sojourners in a land that is not theirs and will be servants there, and they will be afflicted for four hundred years. But I will bring judgment on the nation that they serve, and afterward they shall come out with great possessions."
He knew in advance that they would suffer. It was part of His plan. He has the wide view of history... and yet He understands our weakness, and even Christ cried out to the Father in moments of heartache and weariness. He tells us in Philippians that it has been granted to us that we should suffer (1:29)... this does not seem like a granting of anything good, but in the context it is. But His plans are good, and we can trust Him, even if we are suffering. Here's a song on this subject that has comforted and taught me a great deal as I've sung it and taken it to heart over the last 4+ years:
(3) Remind yourself of the big picture-- If your weariness is routine difficulty/exhaustion (i.e., pregnancy, difficult season at work, having a toddler, etc.), take the "birds' eye view". Consider the eternal impact of what you are doing... what you are building into your child, doing through your work as unto the Lord, or the value of the human lives you are pouring yourself out for. If your weariness is from something unusual (perhaps a medical situation, recent death of someone close to you, or something else weighty and difficulty), view it in the scheme of eternity... what is God teaching you? How might He make you more like Jesus through this situation? How will He be glorified in this circumstance? What comfort is He offering to you that you can later offer to others?
(4) Do what is needful/make your life as sane as possible-- On this point, I think this is something that some people do naturally, so you may be thinking, "yeah, duh", but other people might see this as self-seeking & wrong. Several of God's commands to us (i.e., "love your neighbor as yourself") assume that we care for ourselves. We are right to meet our own needs with the resources God has given us. Sometimes God has a purpose for us and intends for us to stay in the desert, but sometimes we can take a different "road" and hightail it out of the desert.
A hot bath, or taking 20 minutes to read, might be just the thing you need to relax. Spending time listening to an audio Bible could be a great thing to "re-tank" while you do routine tasks. Consider what plans or routines might help you be more sane-- a meal plan? A chore chart for your kids to help shoulder the load? A plan for dealing more intentionally with the laundry mountain? Perhaps you don't have a good sleep routine for your kiddos and could really benefit from a few weeks of careful training in this area so that you and your husband could have regular times together in the evenings. What things can you build into your life that will help you, over the long haul, manage things well & stay sane? Do those things.
Sometimes making these kinds of changes will propel you out of the desert, and other times, it will simply make the desert more survivable. Either one of these is a good thing.
OK, I think these are some of the things God has taught me in the "down" times of life. I hope this will help others who are in need of some relief from the dry and weary land.
Image: TeddyBear[Picnic] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
So today is Ash Wednesday. That didn't mean anything at all to me, growing up, and it still doesn't really, in terms of real practical living. But I appreciate the general pattern of fasting at meaningful times represented by the traditional celebration of Lent, kicked off by Ash Wednesday.Today, I decided to take a self-imposed break, or fast, from Facebook & all online forums. Honestly, I don't spend a lot of time on forums at this stage in life, but I need to be more disciplined and use my time more fruitfully, to worship God & serve my family.
There have been times when I have spent more time in these online locations-- when I was beginning homeschooling, for example, I spent a lot of time on Sonlight Forums (a WONDERFUL place to learn about homeschooling), and I've spent a good amount of time on the Raising Godly Tomatoes forum at various points, learning and gleaning wisdom from wise women about child rearing. But now is an excellent time for fasting from these things, so I am.
FASTING/LENT
As moms of little ones, fasting is an interesting topic.
In most religious traditions with "rules"/guidelines about these sorts of things, pregnant women, breastfeeding moms, children, and the elderly are excluded from the requirement of fasting from food. As Christians, we don't have specific rules like this governing our decisions about fasting, but we do know that God is "gentle with those who are with young" (Isaiah 40:11) and knows we are made of dust. As women, we recognize that we are a weaker vessel... particularly, more fragile in certain conditions that we often find ourselves in when we are mothers of little ones (pregnant/breastfeeding/in a more exhausted state/etc.).
Spiritually, I have grown so much through times of fasting from food. I first fasted in college, and found it to be a way of being much more intentionally focused on prayer & God's Word, and then have had a virtual hiatus from fasting for the last 10 years as I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for virtually 100% of the time during these years. Since I am currently neither pregnant nor nursing, I have enjoyed the spiritual growth & times of more intensive prayer that comes from regular fasts once again, knowing that the time may again come when I cannot do so.
ENCOURAGEMENT FOR MOMS OF LITTLE ONES
I want to encourage you in two ways:
- If you are at a place where you feel free to take fasts from certain things, and can do it healthily, and joyfully as unto the Lord, do it. BUT ALSO-
- If you are in a place of neediness, exhaustion, feeling burnt out, used up, stressed, etc., allow the Lord to fill you and meet your needs. Do not feel pressure from others to give up things that you need or do what you can not do. Let your yes be yes and your no be no, and rejoice in either fasting or in letting the Lord supply your needs.
As Christians, we are not bound to ritualistic feasting or fasting. And particularly as a young mother, your God, El Roi, sees your state. He knows your needs. Let Him be the source of any religious observation AND the meeter of your every need. Draw on HIS reserves. You can do that through fasting, or through the joyful receiving of food (or the joyful receiving of internet wisdom, or the joyful eating of chocolate, or whatever you might feel pressure to "give up" during Lent). Don't let the convictions or decisions of others rule your life, particularly in this demanding season of your life.
"He will tend his flock like a shepherd... and will gently lead those who are with young."
~ Isaiah 40:11
Rest in your God. Rely on your God. Rejoice in your God. Do this, whether fasting or partaking.
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
Have you ever done one of those points-based "stress evaluations"? Doug and I always laughed when we'd see those over the last 6 years, living overseas. With culture stresses, job changes, moving apartments, new babies, changes in our diet/living, and the like, we always ended up scoring far, and sometimes ridiculously far, off the charts.
If you're a parent in this American culture, you likely would score high as well-- job change, relocation, pregnancy and babies, changes in sleeping habits, unemployment, change in schools, increasing dietary allergies and illnesses that lead to diet change-- these things are par for the course.
Overload is a common malady among us.
LACK OF MARGIN
In this discussion of building "margin" into our lives, a common objection might be, "People have always had to work hard and set priorities for their lives. 'There is nothing new under the sun,' like Solomon said." But Swenson writes that contemporary stressors affect us all much more than typical "pressures of life" affected the generations prior to this one. Some highlights: we have much more change coming much more rapidly in our lives; we have more activities to arrive at and more deadlines to meet; intact supportive family relationships have been dismantled; and long-term friendships are increasingly rare.
When the pressures of life mount up to unsustainable levels, and our support systems are arguably weaker than they have ever been, the result is often burnout.
In our interactions with other expats (overseas-dwellers), we would hear about burnout relatively often. It's a common phenomenon among people who have pushed all their stress levels to the max, particularly when those people lack familiar "pressure valves" (i.e., a close relative living nearby to help with the kids every great once in a while) that they have previously used to relieve stress.
"Burnout: If you bend a small tree and then release it, the sapling will return to its former shape. This is analogous to stress-- we bend and then recover. However, if you bend the sapling until it snaps, it stays broken. This is analogous to burnout. Something inside breaks."
THRESHOLD AND OVERLOAD
Swenson points out that we naturally bend to some limitations-- physical limits, for example, limit the number of tables & chairs that can fit in a given room. While you might be able to cram in 100 piece of furniture into a room, would you really want to? Of course not, because that would make the space unusable.
Performance limitations often pertain to both physical limits & the unquantifiable factor of will power. And while the human will is indeed and incredible force, there are physiological limits on us all... Swenson points out:
"Emotional limits are even more vague"-- while there are clearly physical limitations, it is more difficult to understand fully how much one individual person can "take", emotionally speaking. And yet, we inherently know to deal gently with an emotionally fragile person, and we might say that they're "on the verge of collapse", or near their "breaking point".
Mental limitations are as difficult to define as emotional, but certainly, the human brain can not store an unlimited amount of facts. There is an amount of data, or a speed of input, that would cause our brain and/or memory to essentially shut down. Swenson points to the high stress and frequent burnout among air-traffic controllers as evidence of mental limitations.
BUT WHAT ABOUT "I CAN DO ALL THINGS"?
In response to the (mis)use of that verse, Swenson answers,
What happens when we exceed our limits?
ONE PART OF THE SOLUTION
Finally, after 3 parts, I get to share *PART* of Swenson's solution to this lack of margin that affects nearly all of us:
He suggests that the answer is in learning to set limits, and to respect the limits of others. And he devotes the rest of the book to learning to allow for margin in each area of life.
So as we think about this, I think it is helpful to see this in terms of how we react to and interact with others. Do we expect them to be involved in every church event? Are our expectations grace-giving in this area of commitments and involvement, as we wish for others' expectations toward us to be?
What thoughts do you have? I've enjoyed reading your comments and reactions thus far in the series-- did these quotes/ideas bring any new ideas to your mind?
Donkey image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Swenson points out that we naturally bend to some limitations-- physical limits, for example, limit the number of tables & chairs that can fit in a given room. While you might be able to cram in 100 piece of furniture into a room, would you really want to? Of course not, because that would make the space unusable.
"Runners keep running faster, and swimmers keep swimming faster. But there must be an end to this, true? We cannot run the mile in one second. Neither will it ever be possible for anyone to run it in one minute. There is a built-in physiological limit beyond which records will rarely be broken."Like the graph shows, humans' "performance increases with increasing demand and increasing effort-- but only up to a point. Once we reach our limit, fatigue sets in, followed quickly by exhaustion and collapse."
"Emotional limits are even more vague"-- while there are clearly physical limitations, it is more difficult to understand fully how much one individual person can "take", emotionally speaking. And yet, we inherently know to deal gently with an emotionally fragile person, and we might say that they're "on the verge of collapse", or near their "breaking point".
Mental limitations are as difficult to define as emotional, but certainly, the human brain can not store an unlimited amount of facts. There is an amount of data, or a speed of input, that would cause our brain and/or memory to essentially shut down. Swenson points to the high stress and frequent burnout among air-traffic controllers as evidence of mental limitations.
BUT WHAT ABOUT "I CAN DO ALL THINGS"?
In response to the (mis)use of that verse, Swenson answers,
"Does this mean that you can fly? Can you go six months without eating? Neither can you live a healthy life chronologically overloaded. God did not intend this verse to represent a negation of life balance. Even Jesus Himself did not heal every case of leprosy in Israel. Think about it.
"It is God the Creator who made limits, and it is the same God who placed them within us for our protection. We exceed them at our peril."
What happens when we exceed our limits?
- Anxiety- the load is too great, and nervous breakdowns begin to occur
- Hostility- people snap; they blame and/or take out frustration on the people around them
- Depression- their hostility is directed inward, and "they withdraw into a fog of gloom"
- Resentment- the overloading, demanding job/life that used to be enjoyed becomes the enemy
OVERLOAD SYNDROME
Swenson takes a long time to list out the way that activities, changes, choices, commitments, debt, decisions, expectations, fatigue, hurry, information, media, noise, people, possessions, technology, traffic, and work overload our lives and leave us weary and worn out. Here are a few highlights from his expansion on each idea:
"We are a tired society. Even our leisure is exhausting-- 54 percent of us admit we are more exhausted at the end of a vacation than at the beginning."
"A single edition of the New York Times contains more information than a seventeenth-century Britisher would encounter in a lifetime."
"We have more things per person than any other nation in history. Closets are full, storage space is used up, and cars can't fit into garages. Having first imprisoned us with debt, possessions then take over our houses and occupy our time. This begins to sound like an invasion. Everything I own owns me. Why would I want more?"
WHY DO WE DO IT?
To the question, "Why do we allow these things to continue?", the author offers these reasons:
- lack of understanding-- the problem is relatively new, and thus we are blinded to it, "even when it has us by the throat"
- a sense of conscientiousness-- feeling that we should "do all we can" or that we should always/only "give til it hurts"
- follow the leader- "our economy and our society are run by the driven. They climb to positions of power by force and then demand the same over-commitment from those under them."
Here, I think Swenson offers a helpful, discerning point for Christians:
"I am not suggesting that we should strive to have a pain-free, stress-free life. The Christian walk will always be full of problems and work. Many times we must be prepared to suffer willingly. What I am suggesting, however, is that given the unbiquity of overload, we need to choose carefully where our involvement should come. We must not allow ourselves to be hammered by distress in the many areas of life that have absolutely no transcendent importance. It is not the will of the Father for us to be so battered by the torment of our age. There must be a different way-- a way that reserves our strength for higher battles."
ONE PART OF THE SOLUTION
Finally, after 3 parts, I get to share *PART* of Swenson's solution to this lack of margin that affects nearly all of us:
"The problem is overload.
"Each of us needs to seek his or her own level of involvement and not let the standard be mandated by the often exorbitant expectations of others. Some around us who are much more involved than we are may not understand why we choose to hold back. Others might be much less involved than we are-- we assume they don't care. We must understand that everyone has a different tolerance for overload and a different threshold level when breakdown begins to occur. It is important for us to set people free to seek their own level. "
He suggests that the answer is in learning to set limits, and to respect the limits of others. And he devotes the rest of the book to learning to allow for margin in each area of life.
So as we think about this, I think it is helpful to see this in terms of how we react to and interact with others. Do we expect them to be involved in every church event? Are our expectations grace-giving in this area of commitments and involvement, as we wish for others' expectations toward us to be?
What thoughts do you have? I've enjoyed reading your comments and reactions thus far in the series-- did these quotes/ideas bring any new ideas to your mind?
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
As I continue reading Margin, I've enjoyed the things author Richard A. Swenson has to say about modern life and its lack of margin. Margin is the idea of building "reserve" into your life, so that you have room for what's most important in life. He observes:"Progress's biggest failure has been its inability to nurture and protect right relationships. ...Margin, however, knows how to nurture relationship. In fact, margin exists for relationship. Progress, on the other hand, has little to say about the relational life. Even our language gives us away. When we talk about progress, we do not mean social, emotional and spiritual advancement. [Rather, we mean progress in areas of] money, energy, transportation, housing, communications, technology, and education. People, however, have relational needs that go much deeper."WHERE TO INVEST?
His challenge in these chapters (chapters 3 & 4) is that God would have us use our spiritual gifts, and the "overflow of our hearts" to invest in the social, emotional, and spiritual environments of life, rather than following where progress would have us invest our efforts-- solely in the cognitive and physical environments of life.
Society looks for the answers to social problems in physical solutions and education-- give people more money, and/or set up more classes to educate people (i.e., Think of Oprah's classic response, "when we know better, we do better"-- is that really true? Is modern society "doing better" now that we "know better"?). In reality, while these temporary solutions may provide short-term relief, they do not solve matters of the heart.
"Discerning Christians have long known that God is not impressed with our wealth, education, or power. Nevertheless, we have labored eagerly in those fields. What if, instead, we were to begin measuring our progress not by our wealth but by our virtue; not by our education, but by our humility; not by our power but by our meekness?
"Graduate degress and DNPs will never usher in the kingdom-- only love can do that. And love brings us back to [William] Wilberforce: 'Above all, measure your progress by your experience of the love of God and its exercise before men."PHYSICAL vs. MENTAL STRESS
The final idea I want to share from these chapters is a contrast of physical vs. mental exertion, by E.F. Schumacher:
"The widespread substitution of mental strain for physical strain is no advantage from our point of view. Proper physical work, even if strenuous, does not absorb a great deal of the power of attention, but mental work does; so that there is no attention left over for the spiritual things that really matter. It is obviously much easier for a hard-working peasant to keep his mind attuned to the divine than for a strained office worker."Interesting observation, isn't it? It is obvious when you think about it-- I often get my best thinking done when I'm doing purely physical tasks-- folding laundry, washing dishes, mowing the lawn. These type of tasks give mental "margin", and give me room to analyze life with sobriety and clarity.
Now, of course we all deal with stress differently, and we all can manage different levels of it. Generally, though, I think our society pushes too hard, too fast, and too full... this book is definitely causing me to rethink some of the ways that I thoughtlessly ramble along with "progress" and technology in ways that might actually be detrimental to my family and myself.
What about you? Do you see areas where progress has actually hurt your relationships, or increased your stress? How do you manage this in your life?
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
For the last few weeks, I've been reading (and greatly enjoying!) a book called Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives, by Richard A. Swenson, M.D. If you're not familiar with the idea of "margin", here's a telling snippet from the 1st chapter:
He makes the point that some people believe that nothing's different now; "we've always had stress, it's just different stress now", they say. His reply?
Dr. Swenson boils it down to this simple situation:
He prescribes building margin into our lives in order to restore sanity and build up a "reserve" in our lives, so that we can focus on and do what is most significant.
The Link Between Progress & Margin
I'm interested to read his recommendations for how to deal with stress and "marginlessness" in our lives, because he makes the point-- an interesting one-- that the decrease of margin in our lives is directly correlated to the march of progress.
From what I can tell of Dr. Swenson's recommendations just four chapters in, the goal of this book is not to encourage us to stop progress, hide in a cave, or become Amish. I like how he closed up chapter two:
Do these questions and concerns resonate with you?
Do you feel maxed out and spent?
Do you see a connection between the rise of technology/progress, and the lack of "margin"/space in your life? Isn't it ironic that the more "in touch" we are with one another (Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc.), the less human-to-human interaction there really is? Perhaps you've read this book, or another one on this subject? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
"Progress has given us unprecedented affluence, education, technology, and entertainment. We have comforts and conveniences other eras could only dream about. Yet somehow, we are not flourishing under the gifts of modernity as one would expect. ... How is it possible that the homemaker is still tired despite the help of the washing machine, clothes dryer, dishwasher, and vacuum cleaner? If we are so prosperous, why are the therapists' offices so full?""Margin," he writes, "is having breath left at the top of the staircase, money left at the end of the month, and sanity left at the end of adolescence. Marginless is being asked to carry a load five pounds heavier than you can lift."
He makes the point that some people believe that nothing's different now; "we've always had stress, it's just different stress now", they say. His reply?"I'm not the one who's making the fuss; I'm only writing about it. I'm only being honest about what I see all around me. Something's wrong. People are tired and frazzled. People are anxious and depressed. People don't have time to heal anymore."
Dr. Swenson boils it down to this simple situation:
- Symptom: Pain
- Diagnosis: Overload
- Prescription: Margin
- Prognosis: Health
He prescribes building margin into our lives in order to restore sanity and build up a "reserve" in our lives, so that we can focus on and do what is most significant.
The Link Between Progress & Margin
I'm interested to read his recommendations for how to deal with stress and "marginlessness" in our lives, because he makes the point-- an interesting one-- that the decrease of margin in our lives is directly correlated to the march of progress.
"In a general sense, those cultures with the most progress are the same as those with the least margin. Margin has been stolen away, and progress was the thief."One example offered is that when progress meets a tree, it makes "tables, chairs, bowls, and toothpicks." Progress always changes, and gives us increasing amounts of things at increasingly faster speeds. And yet, in the midst of all these efforts to make things bigger, faster, more intense, and better, human beings still exist with fixed, human limits. There is only so much we can do in a day, only so hard we can push our physical bodies, only so much pressure our emotions can handle, etc.
From what I can tell of Dr. Swenson's recommendations just four chapters in, the goal of this book is not to encourage us to stop progress, hide in a cave, or become Amish. I like how he closed up chapter two:
"Please understand: progress is not evil. Similarly stress, change, complexity, speed, intensity, and overload are, for the most part, not enemies. But we have different conditions at play than at any other time in our history and we must discern our course carefully lest we be overwhelmed by forces out of control.
"We must have some room to breathe. We need freedom to think and permission to heal. Our relationships are being starved to death by velocity. No one has the time to listen, let alone love. Our children lay wounded on the ground, run over by our high-speed good intentions. Is God now pro-exhaustion? Doesn't He lead people beside the still waters anymore? Who plundered those wide-open spaces of the past, and how can we get them back?"
Do these questions and concerns resonate with you?
Do you feel maxed out and spent?
Do you see a connection between the rise of technology/progress, and the lack of "margin"/space in your life? Isn't it ironic that the more "in touch" we are with one another (Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc.), the less human-to-human interaction there really is? Perhaps you've read this book, or another one on this subject? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
Yesterday, we went to Half Price Books and I was so excited to get a good selection of books (on the cheap!) to give me a boost in the area of personal Bible study. Last year, I hit a real slump in that area, and I really want to be intentional to try to nurture that area of my life, so that when I hit another tough time, I'll have a variety of spiritual "food" to intake.
Are you in a slump? It could hit in many different places:
But when it hits, it can be hard to climb out. I'll offer thoughts on a few... I'd love to have you share your tips/ideas for dealing with slumps in any area of life as a Christian woman!
Spiritual Slump
Sometimes I want Someone to just come and lift me out... and sometimes He does. But sometimes, He comes and is simply with me in the pit. And sometimes when I don't reach out to Him, He gently reminds me how much I need Him.
So what I am learning to do is just keep talking to Him. Just keep looking outside of myself, to find where my Creator, Redeemer, and Friend is at work. I may have ebbs and flows, but He is always the same. So when I look to Him, there is a fixed "constant" in my life, no matter what else is going on around or inside of me.
What I did last night is pre-purchase a number of those little Bible study guides put out by NavPress, Charles Stanley, or Chuck Swindoll, so that I have an intentionally-selected system to use to study God's Word in new ways, particularly for those times when I'm not just bursting with ideas or an intense desire for Scripture. I've found that this is particularly important for me overseas when I don't have as many options for conferences, women's retreats, etc.
Sex Life Slump
Now, every time I check out my SiteMeter, I am very aware that the articles I've written about intimacy are still the most-visited, most linked, and most popular posts here at Making Home. :)
But of course, in our marriage, we still hit sickness, a crazy schedule, travel times, and general exhaustion from time to time, like anyone else. It could be easy to cast this area of sex aside as one thing to remove from "the list" of necessary "to-do"s. And I'll admit that lately I've not been as creative and fun in this area as I'd like to be.
However, it's such a central part of the marriage relationship that it would be a shame to let it fall to the wayside. A few things that help me as a woman are to: (1) take time to really kiss my husband... not just a peck, but really look him in the eyes, and kiss him, every day. (2) Freshen up! Take a bath while he puts the kids down, or get a shower in during naptime. Spontaneity is more easily achieved when you feel clean & relaxed. (3) Just do it. I don't mean to do it without enthusiasm or enjoyment... I mean, let yourself just go along for the ride. Take time to enjoy the simple sensations and fun times together that happen when you are alone with your husband. Just do it.
I've heard a number of women express the idea that sex is like exercise-- "I may not always feel like doing it beforehand, but I'm always glad to have done it."
What about you? Have you been in, avoided, gotten out of, or even simply made it through, a "slump" in your life? Please share in the comments!
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
- marriage
- spiritual life
- relationships with your kids
- emotions
- sex life
- friendships
But when it hits, it can be hard to climb out. I'll offer thoughts on a few... I'd love to have you share your tips/ideas for dealing with slumps in any area of life as a Christian woman!
Spiritual Slump
Sometimes I want Someone to just come and lift me out... and sometimes He does. But sometimes, He comes and is simply with me in the pit. And sometimes when I don't reach out to Him, He gently reminds me how much I need Him.
So what I am learning to do is just keep talking to Him. Just keep looking outside of myself, to find where my Creator, Redeemer, and Friend is at work. I may have ebbs and flows, but He is always the same. So when I look to Him, there is a fixed "constant" in my life, no matter what else is going on around or inside of me.
What I did last night is pre-purchase a number of those little Bible study guides put out by NavPress, Charles Stanley, or Chuck Swindoll, so that I have an intentionally-selected system to use to study God's Word in new ways, particularly for those times when I'm not just bursting with ideas or an intense desire for Scripture. I've found that this is particularly important for me overseas when I don't have as many options for conferences, women's retreats, etc.
Sex Life Slump
Now, every time I check out my SiteMeter, I am very aware that the articles I've written about intimacy are still the most-visited, most linked, and most popular posts here at Making Home. :)
But of course, in our marriage, we still hit sickness, a crazy schedule, travel times, and general exhaustion from time to time, like anyone else. It could be easy to cast this area of sex aside as one thing to remove from "the list" of necessary "to-do"s. And I'll admit that lately I've not been as creative and fun in this area as I'd like to be.
However, it's such a central part of the marriage relationship that it would be a shame to let it fall to the wayside. A few things that help me as a woman are to: (1) take time to really kiss my husband... not just a peck, but really look him in the eyes, and kiss him, every day. (2) Freshen up! Take a bath while he puts the kids down, or get a shower in during naptime. Spontaneity is more easily achieved when you feel clean & relaxed. (3) Just do it. I don't mean to do it without enthusiasm or enjoyment... I mean, let yourself just go along for the ride. Take time to enjoy the simple sensations and fun times together that happen when you are alone with your husband. Just do it.
I've heard a number of women express the idea that sex is like exercise-- "I may not always feel like doing it beforehand, but I'm always glad to have done it."
What about you? Have you been in, avoided, gotten out of, or even simply made it through, a "slump" in your life? Please share in the comments!
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
David Powlison is the lecturing professor of the counseling class I've been taking (via distance education), and one of the terms he uses that has been helpful for me in thinking about sin is identifying when "watershed moments" occur in our lives. He uses the term to refer to times when our reactions, words, or attitudes (even in something small) act as markers that give indication of is really going on at a deeper level in our hearts. Often, the same exact situation can produce entirely different reactions in two people... and these moments can give insight as to why we react the way we do.Yesterday's "Watershed Moment"
Just this week, I went to my Weight Watchers meeting, weighed in (I'd gained .6 pounds, but was totally OK with that, because last week was our "birthiversary"-- my birthday and our anniversary over 2 days-- and I'd enjoyed cheesecake and not exercised much, so I was completely OK with the slight gain), and was pumped about starting a new week. I'm really enjoying Weight Watchers (my mom and I are doing it together), and love the accountability and encouragement to stay motivated that happens at the meetings.
So this week, everything was coasting along nicely, and this lady who'd met her goal of losing 74 pounds got up to share her story. At first she spoke about her inspiring journey, and it was very encouraging, but then she looked pointedly at me and said, "it's so good that those of you who only have 10 pounds to lose can get things under control before it becomes 70 pounds."
Now I realize that may not seem bad.
But to me, it was quite discouraging, as I came into Weight Watchers nearly 40 pounds over the MAXIMUM weight they say someone my height should be. Not 10. I have lost 13 pounds in the last 8 weeks, which is all fine and good, but I still have about 25 pounds to go. I'm not, by any means, some skinny-winny. To me, it felt like she had pointed at me and said, "aw, look at this naive little girl who doesn't understand the struggles of those of us who have REAL weight to lose." My cheeks reddened, and I tried to subtly look around me to see if there was anyone else she could be talking to, but no. She meant me, and kept staring at me for what seemed like minutes.
My Response (The "Fruit")
I left the meeting mildly perturbed. As I went to shop for new tennis shoes, her words kept replaying in my mind and I felt more and more furious. I was seething that someone would (in my mind) ridicule me and downplay the seriousness of my hard work and efforts to get back to a healthy weight. "I still have 25 pounds to go! What is she talking about, 10 pounds???", I thought. I called my mom and she encouraged me that that had happened to her, too, the last time she did Weight Watchers... she & I carry weight differently than other people do-- we carry extra weight spread all over our body, rather than (for example) all in the hips-- so it looks different on us. When I hung up with her, I felt mostly validated, yet still frustrated.
Getting To the Root
Before taking this class, I would have felt justified, and let the moment go as that lady's problem or lack of understanding. But now, I'm more apt to dig deeper when I see an attitude like that in my life, and ask, "What is it that's really going on?"
And what's really going on, I think, is that I don't like to feel publicly humiliated. I still vividly remember the girl on the school bus in junior high who loudly told me my chest was, "so flat it's like a bowl; it caves in", even though now, I am quite well endowed and completely content with my lot in that area. My heart still pounds wildly when I remember the girl who threatened to beat me up after school and chased me home in her car.
I don't like feeling called out, particularly in front of other people.
So then, what do I do with that? What do I do with feelings of shame & humiliation based on how I'm treated by other people?
What does God say?
Well, I have to go to Scripture and see what it says about embarrassment, humiliation... not much... but fear of man and shame? Plenty.
"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe." ~Proverbs 29:25
"Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You." ~Psalm 25:20
"But the Lord GOD helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame." ~Isaiah 50:7
From this, I can counsel my own heart-- God helps me. What people say is irrelevant because my confidence is in the LORD, not in myself.
Even more convicting,
"hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." ~Romans 5:5So, yes, I should hope in God, and then I can lay hold of God's love in my heart and have a response of love (1 Corinthians 13-style: bearing all things, enduring, being patient, not holding a record of wrongs) toward the woman who I wanted to slug, because I have the Holy Spirit.
And, for an eternal perspective, John wrote to the children of God,
"And now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears we may have confidence and not shrink from Him in shame at His coming." ~1 John 2:28
By abiding in Him, choosing love at times when I would rather abide in my frustration, and by relying on the Holy Spirit within me, I can avoid a more lasting and more significant "shame". Momentary embarrassment in a meeting (which might have not really been noticed by anyone but me) is NOTHING compared to the shame I would feel in the presence of Jesus, at the memory of a continual mental haranguing of another human being when I ought to have relied on the Spirit and opted for love.
The next time I feel publicly humiliated and face a similar "watershed" moment, I hope I will recall these truths and put my reddened cheeks in a more whole, eternal perspective.A Framework for Understanding Life
Putting the situation, and my behavior & reactions, in the light of the reality of Christ changes the whole notion of what is shameful. I'm so thankful for a new way of looking at these "watershed" moments in my life and hope that by continuing to examine myself in this way, I will gain insight into the ways that I am not abiding in Christ, and be able to more heartily and fully live in Him.
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
Over the weekend, I got curious and ended up studying and writing down all the various times that Scripture uses the phrase, "that you may know", so that I could see those times when God did something specific to teach us something specific. It was incredibly clarifying-- they all center on this idea: God wants you, me, Israel, Gentiles, the nations, indeed- all the peoples of the world- to know that He alone is God, that there is no other, and that Jesus and the Father are one. That pretty much sums up all 5 pages of my notes about the "that you may know" passages.
ANXIETY
So last night, I started feeling anxious about a house. We've been talking about buying a house now (since real estate prices are so low), to rent out while we're gone, so that we'd have a "homebase" to return to each time we visit family, rather than scrambling to find a furnished house. Yesterday, we found one online that is priced to sell. So many people are (understandably) trying to sell their house at the price it would have sold for 4 years ago, but this house was priced well under-market, and it has a pool in the backyard. AND- it's just a few houses down from my parents' house.
Anyway, I began worrying. I'm not normally an anxious person, or at least I haven't thought that I am. But I was nervous about that house. Worried that someone else would see it and snatch it up first. Restless that our realtor hadn't written us back yesterday after we e-mailed him (lighten up, Jess, it's a SUNDAY). Really feeling unsettled about the entire situation, because I was so eager to see and buy the house.
Once I realized how nervous and anxious I felt, I reflected on all I've been learning in my counseling class-- that what comes out of us is actually just the fruit of what we're believing in our heart. I was believing lies-- that it's all up to me, that I can control a situation into what I want it to be, that things will not work out unless I __________.
At 1am, with no one else awake in the house, I began speaking out loud what I know to be true, replacing the lies with the truth. It sounded something like this:
My heart remembered the things God wants us to know-- that He alone is God.
Knowing that God is the "blessed controller of all things" frees us from rattling nerves or a worried heart. Focusing on the reality of His sovereignty allows us to rest when our hearts would otherwise be spinning and anxious.
Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
ANXIETY
Anyway, I began worrying. I'm not normally an anxious person, or at least I haven't thought that I am. But I was nervous about that house. Worried that someone else would see it and snatch it up first. Restless that our realtor hadn't written us back yesterday after we e-mailed him (lighten up, Jess, it's a SUNDAY). Really feeling unsettled about the entire situation, because I was so eager to see and buy the house.
Once I realized how nervous and anxious I felt, I reflected on all I've been learning in my counseling class-- that what comes out of us is actually just the fruit of what we're believing in our heart. I was believing lies-- that it's all up to me, that I can control a situation into what I want it to be, that things will not work out unless I __________.
At 1am, with no one else awake in the house, I began speaking out loud what I know to be true, replacing the lies with the truth. It sounded something like this:
God, You are good. You have always cared for us. Your provision has never come to an end. You let us find this house where we could live while in Texas. You have led us to good deals for the shampoo bottles (they were right in front of me) we use, You have provided these clothes (my mother in law had dropped her wardrobe "extras" off earlier in the day). We have always had a place to live, and so many times, God, You have surprised us with a wonderful home You had in store for us-- better than we could've imagined! If we are to have that house, it will be ours. I trust You to give us what we need, and to take care of all that concerns us. I don't have to worry or fret; You are in control.As I turned from disbelief and worry, and turned to faith and trust in Our Soverign LORD, everything changed. My heart felt at rest, and I fell asleep so easily. Simply knowing the truth, or having affirmed it previously in a class or my own personal Bible study, was not enough... I needed to remind myself of it, and reflect on it, and allow it to resonate in my soul, in the moment when my heart was being pulled to trust in something OTHER than God. THEN, my heart followed.
My heart remembered the things God wants us to know-- that He alone is God.
Knowing that God is the "blessed controller of all things" frees us from rattling nerves or a worried heart. Focusing on the reality of His sovereignty allows us to rest when our hearts would otherwise be spinning and anxious.
Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Posted by
linda
comments (0)
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want... He restores my soul." ~Psalm 23:1
In the last post about soul care, I shared about what led Mr. Smith (the author of Embracing Soul Care) to the point of realizing his own need to nurture his soul.
Now I admit, this can sound a little unorthodox or even new agey. If you think of this in terms of "taking time for ME", this idea of "soul care" will seem incorrect or unbiblical; but if you understand that nurturing your soul actually means renewing your strength in the LORD, it all comes into proper perspective. In reality (when you take the long view of Christian history), this method of practicing spiritual disciplines, making time to be quiet before the Lord, and focusing on the simple things in life is quite orthodox.
And it's biblical:
- "We urge you, brothers, ...to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs." ~1 Thessalonians 4:10-11
- "Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." ~1 Peter 3:4
- "Take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life." ~Deut. 4:9
- "O God, be merciful to me, for in You my soul takes refuge." ~Psalm 57:1
- "O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised to high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul." ~Psalm 131: 1-2
- "For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, 'In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.' " ~Isaiah 30:15
- "The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." ~Lamentations 3:25-26
One idea that has been transformative for me lately has been to realize that "I" am not a brunette who is about 5'7", still carrying leftover baby weight, with size 8 feet, who wears glasses. "Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart." While it is possible for me to have a twin who is completely identical on the outside, my soul is the unique inner part that can be turned Godward or selfward... it's the part that the bulk of Scripture is concerned with.
The person who gripes when dirty clothes don't get picked up... the person who loves to learn new things and take on new projects... the person who yells when frustrated... the person who goes deep and wants to understand and know my friends... the person who loves to snuggle and giggle with my kiddos... the person who has a tendency to be cynical and causticly sarcastic... the person who really does, in her inmost parts, want to be like Jesus... that is me.
My soul is the part of me that can RUN TO or run away from God.
I am not "the things I do", but the things I do contribute more to me than the things I wear. "I" am the gal on the inside... it's what makes me me.
It's not that it's bad to take time to look nice. But we can all too easily confuse these external things -- the clothes or makeup we wear, the car we drive, the kind of house we select, the way we decorate it-- with who we really are. While it is possible to have these things reflect who we are, our soul IS who we really are. And it's the part of us that is eternal.
We spend so much time and money on external, temporary things, and yet we often neglect the one thing that will be ours for eternity-- our souls. God wants to sanctify our souls, and we partner with Him through prayer and obedience in order to submit to that process of sanctification.
Is this challenging for you too? Maybe it's just me... that could totally be the case. :) But maybe this shifts some things in your head like it did for me... does it change anything for you to remember & focus in on the eternal and significant nature of your soul?
Any thoughts you'd like to share?
Bible image: Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Woman image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
