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I suppose it's time for me to write a blogpost, seeing as how I'm getting about 347 spam blog comments each day with very vague and generic (but surprisingly lengthy) comments for product-selling websites.  They're onto me, you might say.  I've been a lazy blogger, but have enjoyed a productive and fun summer.  Hope you have too! :)  I've got some issues and thoughts swirling around in my brain, so I'm hoping to be more productive, writing-wise, very soon.

Last week, I read something (I think it was from John Piper) to the effect that- "Being someone different when you think no one else is looking is functional atheism.  God is always there."   Transparency.  Authenticity.  No room for duplicity.

And then this week, I read this- about discipleship, and doing the real, day-in, day-out practices of faith that lead to spiritual growth & maturity in Christ.  It's from Dallas Willard:

"But, someone will say, can I not be 'saved'-- that is, get into heaven when I die-- without any of this?  Perhaps you can.  God's goodness is so great, I am sure that He will let you in if He can find any basis at all to do so.  But you might wish to think about what your life amounts to before you did, about what kind of person you are becoming, and about whether you really would be comfortable for eternity in the presence of One whose company you have not found especially desirable for the few hours and days of your earthly existence.  And He is, after all, One who says to you now, 'Follow me!' "

It is such a huge call, to follow Christ.  It is no small thing.  Not a decision made once, in response to an altar call at church camp... not a fire insurance policy.  No, following Christ is a daily thing.
Sometimes so painful, but in that pain, there is growth, and it is good.  Like those old growing pains... oh I remember when I was about 9 or 10 and my legs would have these shooting pains-- they were not pleasant, but they were for my good.  I needed to grow taller; God was stretching out my body so that I might grow into womanhood and have a frame that would support the weight and demands it would need to carry.

Recently, God allowed me to see the extent of my sin-- specifically, He has graciously placed pressures in my life that have revealed my anger.  For many years, this sin lay dormant in my life, and then it slowly crept out as pressures mounted... but in the last year in particular, it has become clear: I have allowed myself to be mastered, enslaved, by anger... and the realization of this has brought me lower than I think I have ever been.

But IT IS FOR MY GOOD that God has brought me low.  He allows these momentary pressures so that He can refine and shape my life.  Just like that orange, He is simply squeezing out of me what is already there.  He is revealing what exists in me.
I am trying to willingly put myself under His hand... to submit to this refining process.  To work with Him, instead of kicking against Him.  This whole week has been a process of looking to Him daily, even moment-by-moment, depending on Him and greatly desiring His guidance (through the Spirit and the Word).

"Throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus..." ~Hebrews 12:1-2

Re-reading this book online-- free!-- that I read in college, has proven instructive and fruitful for giving me a biblical foundation for seeking a breakthrough in the fight against the hold of this sin in my life.  Rightly calling it what it is & confessing it with true contrition to those who have been hurt by it has brought it into the light.  And the light is where I long to live.  I want to have my life and heart be on the inside what it is on the outside, and what it is on the outside on the inside.  I want anyone who looks at any thread in my life to see what is in every other thread... a true desire to be like Christ.  To be a person who loves as I am loved, who roots out and fights against the hold of sin, who continually submits myself to this process of being shaped and refined by my Maker, who fights for justice, and encourages everyone to be free in Christ.  To be -truly- free in Christ myself.
Getting real about discipleship means that I have to do the real work of it, daily.  I can not sit back and "let go and let God".  I will welcome this squeezing, and will be real about what pours out of my heart.  Prayerfully, I will refill those squeezed-out places with Christ... with His Word, with His ways, with His Spirit.  With His strength, I will not allow those places to be reclaimed by the stronghold of sin.  By His help, I will work with all my might to be more like Jesus.
I am writing this in a continued effort to be transparent here, and this blog would not be a full picture of my life if I did not deal with my ugly sin in a straightforward way.  This is who I am, but I want to be more like Jesus.  I'm so thankful that He doesn't let me stay ugly, but that He keeps squeezing that ugly right out of me.  And in the process, He makes beautiful things out of us.

http://youtu.be/nJ4yNYY1hHM


Please pray for me.  And please feel free to share what God is doing to refine you.  The longer I live, the more I am convinced that He wants to make beautiful things of all of us, and I want to work with Him to that end.


Images:
Poppy- Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Squeeze- Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I recently bought the entire New Testament from the Bible Experience (oh I love these recordings!) and took the opportunity to listen to the entire books of Matthew & Mark all in one afternoon/evening.  (Matthew took the entire length of my 3 year old's naptime, including the time it took him to fall asleep), and Mark took 90 minutes.



I had a couple of random observations from listening to the gospels in such a intensive format.

1. The writers shared specific details (5 loaves & 2 fishes for 5000 men plus women and children, 7 loaves for 4000 men plus women and children) because these are real stories-- real events-- not euphemisms or general impressions of how miraculous Jesus was.  
2. Boy, Jesus really came down hard on the Pharisees.  And really, a lot of both gospels was spent with all the ways they (and the Sadducees & Essenes) plotted and laid traps to try and trip Jesus up in His teachings.  Multiple times yesterday, my heart started praying, "Father, don't let me be like the Pharisees.... seeing, but not understanding, hearing, but not perceiving.  Help me understand.  Let me perceive what You really mean.  Discipline & shape me to be humble and teachable."
3. Jesus did a lot of healing.  It seems that physical healing is what drove most people to come out and listen to Him, rather than some inward spiritual hungering or thirsting.
4. The extensive, specific genealogies in both books immediately reminded me of recently beginning a book by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a woman raised as a Muslim in Somalia, and how as a child, she was taught to be able to list out her ancestors, back at least 200 years.  Before she learned almost anything else (practical, religious, or educational) about life, her genealogy was of paramount importance.  We don't do this, so genealogies seem superfluous and dull to us, but to someone who values the heritage and history communicated in the lists of ancestors, this would be an important part of the gospels, and of the authority of Christ.
5. Jesus laid out the specifics to prepare the disciples for His arrest & death multiple times, "they will hand over the Son of Man to be killed,"  "She is preparing my body for burial," so many times in fact that it is difficult to believe that the Disciples didn't seem prepared.  
6. I wonder if the title "King of the Jews" came from the Jewish notion that the Messiah would be a military/political leader?  I wonder if He had really been called this by some people, and if certain portions of the population were really trying to thrust him into political power, or if (like I've been told all my life) it WAS solely to mock Him?  I don't know.  =
7. Stay SPIRITUALLY awake!  Don't fall into a noncommittal, bland, sideline-style faith.  We should always be engaged & prepared for His coming.  
   From Mark 13: "Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake.  Therefore stay awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning— lest he come suddenly and find you asleep.  And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake.”  
8. I wondered as I listened to the account of Judas going out to betray Jesus if it was the acceptance of sinners that pushed him right over the edge.  See, the woman known as a prostitute came and poured out her expensive oil on Jesus, and instead of condemning her, He said she was preparing His body, AND that she would be honored for all of time.  From that banquet, apparently right after hearing Jesus say that such a sinful woman would be honored in the Kingdom of God, Judas went out to make his initial plans with the council to kill Jesus.  It made me introspectively consider if I am self-righteously put off when outright sinners are accepted and beloved by God.   I hope that is never the case in my heart... but that is one of the warnings of Judas to us.   

As a mom of little ones, at times it can be so difficult to try to find time for the Word... and yet, it is SO essential!  I have to confess there are times when I've fallen into discouragement & gotten out of the habit of regular intake of Scripture.  However, there is nothing like having God's Word in your heart and mind as you go about life as a mom!  Scripture is necessary for our encouragement, training, and strength... it is what we need as we minister to the people in our family!

Now, I absolutely don't want to contribute to legalism or a sense of failure for anyone out there, but also, I know there are many who are trying to implement new habits in Scripture as you begin 2012.  Some of you have just had a new baby, some are homeschooling several children on different levels, and some of you may be chasing toddlers for what seems like 72 hours each day.  In an effort to encourage your commitment to the Word, I offer up these ideas; use them as you see fit.  Please view none of them as an absolute command... rather, see these as possible methods to utilize.  I hope they will bless you as you seek ways to weave God's Word into your day.

Here are some ways, in various seasons of motherhood, that I've found to get more Scripture in my heart and mind:

• Find an audio Bible that you love to listen to, and download books.  Listen to Scripture as you go about your day... while you're building block towers, putting in a load of dishes, or folding laundry, your mind can be engaged in the Word!
• Set your Bible on the counter and read while you work.  As you flip pancakes or wash dishes, open up your Bible to the place where you are reading.  Read a Scripture or two, and then let your mind focus on that verse while you do the next thing... then look back down and move through a passage a verse or two at a time 
• Wake up early and spend time in the Bible in the quiet of the morning.  This is not something I have gotten into the habit of doing, but I've had friends for whom this works well.  Our apartments and such have always been set up in ways where I would wake up the rest of the household if I got up, and so instead, I've opted to maximize sleep for everyone and find other ways to work Scripture into my days.  But if this works for you, go for it!
• Use your first discretionary time each day to have time in the Word.  Particularly when I have a newborn, I find this method to be the most helpful.  It allows me to get the rest I need to have, and meet my baby & children's needs, but also, once those needs are met, helps me remember not to putz around on the internet or take up a new sewing project with my few free minutes, when I haven't yet spent at least some time in Scripture.  So with this, there's no set "time" or "method" so much as just trying to jump into the Word once I get a few minutes free.  
• Spend more time on a passage, not less.  This may seem counterintuitive, as many Bible reading plans have you going through heaps of Scripture in a day's time, but I've found that I actually benefit more from the message of Scripture when I slow down and focus in on Scripture over the course of days.  For example, for several years in a row, I took a "Book a Month" approach, and let each book's message percolate in my mind over the course of 4-5 weeks.  Then I'd move onto the next book.  That method allowed the heart and soul of each book to get more clear in my mind, as opposed to just sprinting my way through the Word.  Each method of intaking Scripture has its own benefits, but I think particularly as a busy mom of little ones, this idea of parking in one place for a given length of time can give freedom and time to really draw the marrow out of a passage, and not contribute to a sense of feeling perpetually "behind". 
• Read it out loud.  Whatever passage you are reading, read out loud to your children.  Use your voice to emphasize different parts, and let the message of Scripture be heard in your home just as you would do with a read-aloud book on your child's level.

"Saved!"  -- The word conjures up a variety of images: money put back for a rainy day, a drowning person being pulled onto a life raft, a manager catching a significant error that would cost his company thousands of dollars.

So, you're sitting in ___(Bible Study, Church, small group, your living room with your Bible on your lap)____ and you read or hear something powerful.  A particular verse, a comment someone else makes, an experience shared, or a principle taught... it hits you between the eyes and you KNOW it's a truth you needed to take to heart and implement in your life.

WHAT NOW?

This is where I've been parking my brain lately.

Throughout my childhood, my late teen years after God drew me back to Him, and the first decade of my adult life, I have had many times of feeling bowled over by truth.  Again and again, God has put truth in my life that I needed to hear and implement.

But I don't know if it's human nature, or my former tendency to cram for a test and then forget the facts/information I studied once I've taken the test, but whatever the case, I've realized something: I don't hold onto truth well.

Below I've listed some ways I've found to hold onto truth and implement it in my life. I would LOVE to hear ways that you've found to KEEP and IMPLEMENT the truth that God reveals in your life.

• Printing out verses/passages/ideas and placing them in obvious places in my home
• Talking about it with Doug 
• Having accountability from women friends
• Trying to hold onto it in my mind as I read through Scripture, taking special note of applicable verses and passages I run across
• All of these things done with prayer and journaling

Lately I've been thinking about living in the light.  It's such a useful word picture for our lives as Christians, isn't it?

* Don't have any "dark corners" in your life-- live fully in the light!

* Speak the truth and don't gossip or backstab-- let your words always be so that if they "came to light", you would not need to be ashamed!

* Walk consistently in the light of God!

This idea of living in the light fit perfectly with something Dr. David Powlison shared in a lecture I listened to recently, about speeding-- that you should choose your car's speed by the speed you can drive at without needing to nervously watch for cops.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  Whatever speed you know is acceptable, go that speed, rather than pushing the limits to go 9 or 11 miles over the speed limit, constantly watching for cops and worried about getting a ticket.

It's simply living in the light.  No matter who sees or knows, you're just fine, because you've done everything in the light.

So, today, I did a little bible study on this idea of living in the light.  Read through these Scriptures and be encouraged as a child of the Light!

• In the beginning was the Word...  In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  ~John 1:1, 4-5
• Nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. ~Luke 8:17~
• Everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.  But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God. ~John 3:20-21~
• Jesus said to them, "The light is among you for a little while longer.  Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you.  The one who walks in darkness does not know where he is going.  While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light." ~John 12:35-36~
• Be careful lest the light in you be darkness.  If then your whole body is full of light, having no part in dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light. ~Luke 11:35-36~
• (Jesus speaking) "I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness." ~John 12:46~
• Nothing is covered up that will not revealed, or hidden that will not be known.  Therefore whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.  ~Luke 12:2-3~
• The Lord has commanded us, saying, "I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth." ~Acts 13:47~
• Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven.  ~Matthew 5:16~
• The Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness, and will disclose the purposes of the heart.  Then each one will receive his commendation from God." ~1 Corinthians 4:5~
• Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?  Or what fellowship has light with darkness? ~2 Corinthians 6:14~
• At one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.  Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.  For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.  But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light.  ~Ephesians 5:8-14~
• Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. ~Philippians 2:14-15~
• You all are children of light, children of the day.  We are not of the night or of the darkness.  So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober.  ~1 Thessalonians 5:5-6~
• You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim that excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. ~1 Peter 2:9~

• This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness of all.  If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.  ~1 John 1:5-7~
• Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.  Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling.  But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.  ~1 John 2:9-10~

There are some things Doug and I aren't great at, or have flubbed over the years. We're lousy at keeping our master bedroom clean, and we have made some short-sighted financial decisions that cost us more than a pretty penny.

Ouch! It stung when I read it, and it still stings:

In the last decade, there's been a clamoring for women to embrace and seek out "me time". Especially moms. Oprah has promoted it, parenting magazines write about it, and online forums debate its merits. I've spent time thinking about the concept over the last few years, wondering in my own mind if it is a biblical concept or not.

Image: healingdream / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: photouten / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I recently read a story about a 6-year-old cancer patient who rushed out to greet Princess Kate, and one of the sub-headlines of the story was that "protocol was broken" by the hug they shared. Just like that little girl wants to be like Princess Kate, I want to be like Jesus. But instead of beautiful dresses and jewels, that passage in Philippians 2 (and many others throughout scripture) tells us that servanthood is how we follow Him. Scripture tells us to joyfully seek the joy of others, to put the needs of others first, and to delight in pleasing God above all else-- even if the cup He puts in front of us is one we'd rather not drink.

"Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food. I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you welcomed me. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me." Then the righteous will answer him, saying, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?... And the King will answer them, "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me." (Matthew 25:35-40)

Matthew 7:12 is one of the most quoted verses in the Bible--

This week in ladies' Bible study, we were given the prompt:

"By the grace given to me, I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned." ~Romans 12:3

The character in Hinds' Feet on High Places starts out her allegorical journey with the name "Much Afraid", but after learning to run and leap and jump through the mountain crags all the way up to the heights, meets with her Shepherd who gives her a new name-- "Contentment with Joy". I would love for contentment to be a strong theme of my life; too often, I don't have that attitude.

Do I treat Scripture as essential? There have been many times in my life when I have, but I have to confess that in recent months, I have not treated God's Word as essential. At times, it's been something I've reached for in desperation, but if I am honestly assessing my intake over the past few months, I am spiritually malnourished.

... and he will give you peace ("rest", in some translations). He will bring delight to your soul." ~Prov 29:17


As parents, especially first-time parents, look into parenting books, methods, advice, and try to make decisions about how to raise up their children, there are many opportunities to encounter really lousy advice. It can be difficult, in this age of TV psychologists and celebrity moms and PhD-toting "experts", to know what is right.

Rather than try to lay out specifics, if you are a first-time mom, or just beginning to make some of these life-impacting decisions about parenting and discipline, I just want to encourage you to ask yourself a few questions, about whatever advice you are contemplating.

(1) Does the advice you are following line up with what the Bible says about discipline?

Spend an afternoon at Biblegateway.com and do a word search on "discipline", for example. Read about various parents in the Bible-- Eli and his sons, how Solomon talks to his son as he gives advice in Proverbs, how Samson's parents interacted with him and what those results were. Take to heart the commands given to parents (Deut 6, throughout Proverbs, to church leaders in the epistles about what their kids should be like, in each of the Pauline letters-- how children should act, how parents should train/teach).

Look at the whole counsel of the Word of God as you consider these things.


(2) Do you know anyone in real life who follows the advice you are considering?

Are their kids pleasant to be around? Depending on the ages of their kids, are their young children generally joyful and obedient? Are their teenagers respectful, or rebellious? Are their adult children following God? Whether they have one or many children, would it be pleasant and encouraging to be around a large group of people like their children? This is not to say that there is some perfect parenting formula that will turn out perfect human beings-- of course not!

But on the whole, we should consider the "fruit" of those that we are considering following. If we want to do well in our marriage, we ask advice from people who have made wise choices and persevered and have a strong marriage. If I want to learn to bake or cook well, I strive to learn from those who do so, not from the person who cooks primarily out of cans and boxes, or who doesn't enjoy cooking.

Another point on this score is that internet advice, or book advice, can be good (in fact, I've been spurred on and encouraged by many godly mamas in online form)... but the proof is in the pudding, and it is much more helpful to have solid advice from a person you know and trust, than to have extensive advice from someone "out there" whose life you really don't know anything about.

(3) In general, do the people who follow this advice have families that are joyful? Peaceful? Rested? A blessing to the people around them?

It's not at all that I'm saying everything has to be roses and sunshine, or that godly families won't have struggles or moments of complete and utter humanity and failure. Medical situations come up, seasons of extra pressure or difficulty arise, and of course, we're dealing with sinful human beings (parents and children alike) and no one is perfect! But in general, what is the likely fruit of the advice you're following? Does it match up with what you desire for your family? Does it match up with what the Bible says you should desire for your family?


(4) Does following this advice put you at odds with, or strengthen your oneness with, your spouse?

Unless there is a situation of abuse or neglect (which is an entirely different matter and should be dealt with legally), we should seek to find a place of peace and agreement in how we parent our children, but in the end, we are to respect and submit to the leadership of our husbands. God made men and women different for a reason... and we may not see eye-to-eye on every single detail. Still, though they (and we) are imperfect, He gives husbands & fathers ultimate headship and responsibility for leading their families.

Many times, I have encountered young mothers who put themselves at odds with their husbands over this issue of discipline by taking a hard stance against the very methods their husbands would use. It is not difficult to find young wives online-- especially on message forums or blogs-- husband-bashing because their husbands, ultimately, desire the very thing Proverbs says that discipline will bring-- peace, rest, and delight-- to the home.


There may be other considerations that are important to you, but these are the ones that came to my mind as common "sticking points" for young parents as they consider how to raise their kiddos. I pray God's blessings and His wisdom (He promises to give it-- James 1:5) on you as you seek His guidance in these matters.